


The Anniversary 1/2

by jaekayelle



Category: Firefly
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-04-30
Updated: 2012-04-30
Packaged: 2017-11-04 15:16:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/395268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaekayelle/pseuds/jaekayelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mal and Simon celebrate their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Anniversary 1/2

**Author's Note:**

> This story contains a spoiler for 'War Stories'. Big thanks to sffan for the beta. 
> 
> Schmaltziness abounds!

Six months –

Mal slid down the ladder into his bunk. When he turned around he froze. The room was filled with candles – lit, scented candles. It smelled like vanilla and, disconcertingly, it made him hungry. Simon turned from lighting the last of the candles and laughed when Mal’s stomach growled. 

“Shut up,” Mal told him but there was no rancour in his voice. Brightening at the sight before him his eyes smiled as he walked over to stand next to Simon, raking his eyes over the beautiful face. 

His young lover looked mildly disappointed. “You came back too soon. I was just about to wrap your present.” He held up a length of red ribbon. 

“Where is it?” There was no sign of anything different in the room apart from the candles.

“Right in front of you. I was going to give you me.”

He put his hands on Simon’s slim hips and pulled him closer. 

“Already got you.”

“Yes,” Simon rose up and kissed him gently, “you do. However, I wanted you to find your gift on the bed. You know, with a big red bow on...it.” With the final word he glanced downward. 

Mal caught on right away and one of his eyebrows climbed toward his hairline as he contemplated the positioning of the ribbon.

“Well, now I am sorry I ruined the surprise.”

Simon grinned smugly. “Maybe you’d like to assist with the wrapping?”

“You might have to guide me, step by step.”

“I can do that.” 

Simon took his hand and led him to the bed where they undressed each other to the waist, taking their time as they traded kisses and nips. Mal kept Simon laughing by groping and even tickling his lover now and then. 

“Cut it out.” Simon playfully swatted at Mal’s hand and then plastered their bodies together and squirmed and wriggled provocatively against Mal.

“You’re nothin’ but a tease,” Mal told him before leaning forward to capture Simon’s lips with his own. Simon reached up and threaded his fingers through Mal’s hair. 

When they parted for air Simon’s hazel eyes sparkled. “Happy anniversary.”

Mal pulled back slightly. “Oh. That’s what this is about.”

“You forgot.”

“I’m sorry, babe. Yeah, I did.” Mal felt badly. It was obvious Simon had put some thought into this evening and he had not remembered the significance of the date.

Reaching out to grip Mal’s hand, Simon reassured him with a smile, “It’s all right. It is only the six months’ mark. If it was a year you wouldn’t get off so easily.” 

Seeing that it was indeed okay, Mal relaxed fractionally. He rubbed his thumb across Simon’s cheek. He loved touching the soft, ivory skin.

“What can I do to make it up to you?”

“You don’t have to make anything up to me. However, if you’re so inclined you could finish taking your clothes off and get into bed with me.” Simon’s eyes twinkled.

“That all? Just get into bed? Then what – go to sleep?”

Grinning, Simon tugged hard on Mal’s left ear. 

“Watch it! It might come off.” He rubbed at his earlobe. 

“It won’t. It’s been over seven months since I reattached it. After all the licking and nibbling and nuzzling I’ve done on it in that time, if it was going to fall off it would have done so by now.”

“Never can tell for sure,” Mal insisted.

“Oh, for...!” Simon wrestled him down onto the bed. If Mal wanted to resist there was no way Simon could have pinned him; the doctor was strong but Mal had the advantage of a longer body and more muscle. But he did not want win this match, so he did nothing to defend himself. He lay quiescently while Simon expertly and determinedly stripped him of the remainder of his clothing. 

Their coupling was exquisitely slow and left them tired but sated. When Simon lay in Mal’s arms tracing designs on his lover’s chest, Mal asked, “You sure I can’t make up for forgettin’ our anniversary?”

“You just did.”

#

One year –

“You’re not much of a romantic, are you?” Simon asked conversationally.

Mal nodded distractedly as he studied the accounts ledger, and then thought maybe he should actually hear the question before agreeing with the answer. 

“What’s that?”

“Romance. Do you believe in it?”

“Sure.”

Simon gazed at him with a look that told Mal he was only humouring him.

“What?”

“You’re hopeless.”

“Ain’t arguin’ that, but what the hell are you talking about?”

Simon got up from the bed and went to where Mal sat at his desk. Sliding his arms around Mal’s neck he kissed him on the cheek. 

“I’m talking about you and how you are a hopeless un-romantic.”

Mal thought that over. 

“I forgot somethin’ didn’t I?”

“Do the words ‘first year anniversary’ mean anything to you?”

“Oh, Simon. I’m so sorry. And it’s only been, um, six months since the last one.”

“Uh huh.”

“It’ll be a miracle if I remember the next one.”

“That it will.” Simon straightened and kissed him on the top of the head. “Put on your best clothes. We’re going out.”

“We are?”

“Since you so fortuitously brought us to Persephone on such an important occasion I took the liberty of making reservations for the two of us at a nice restaurant. I’m taking you out for dinner.”

“You are?”

Simon ruffled Mal’s hair. “Quit pretending to be a dummy. We both know you’re a very smart man.”

“Then someone forgot to tell me that.”

Simon kissed him softly on the mouth. “Get dressed.”

#

Three years –

Simon was a patient man, Mal knew. He had to be to put up with him for a week let alone three years. Aware that his track record for remembering their anniversaries was abysmal, Mal made the effort this year to make sure he did not forget. He’d been the recipient of some odd looks from Simon lately and he figured that his partner expected him to forget again. Well, he’d show him.

As soon as he could get Simon alone after supper that night he pulled him into his arms and kissed him soundly, his hands dropping to caress Simon’s firm buttocks through the material of his pants. Simon leaned against him with his eyes closed, kissing him back and letting his own hands do a little roaming. He was totally at Mal’s mercy. When Mal let him up to replenish his oxygen Simon whimpered. 

“That was nice.”

“Just nice?”

“Very nice.”

“Brat.” Mal said affectionately. “I’ll show you nice. I got you something.”

“Really?” Simon perked up. “What did you get me?”

Mal realized he was more nervous than he had thought when he reached for a drawer handle and missed. His hands were trembling when he brought out the gift and he couldn’t still them as he turned back to Simon, who was watching him expectantly, his hazel eyes filled with curiosity. 

Mal handed him the shallow box and watched as Simon opened it. 

“Oh my god, Mal, this is wonderful. Wherever did you get it?”

Moving to stand behind him and wrapping his arms around Simon’s waist, his chin resting on his shoulder, Mal looked at the framed drawing that Simon held. It was of the two of them standing closely together in front of a market stall with colourful scarves and wraps hanging over posts. Mal said, “That day we went shopping and you were looking for somethin’ to get River. I saw an artist nearby and thought she had a lot of talent. I paid her to draw us. Wasn’t sure if you’d like it.”

“I love it! It’s beautiful. And look, she captured our emotions on our faces. I didn’t know we looked like that -- so in love. Beautiful.”

Mal studied the drawing for the hundredth time. He had worried so much whether it would be appropriate to give Simon on their special occasion. The artist had drawn them gazing at each other, their eyes shining with the love and trust and commitment of their relationship.

“Happy anniversary, sweetheart.”

Simon’s face changed. He struggled for a moment and then burst out laughing. 

Mildly affronted, Mal asked, “What’s so funny?”

“Our anniversary was last week.”

#

Five years –

“Did you ever think we’d last this long?” Simon asked. They were standing on the front verandah of their house. A year and a half ago they’d decided that doing crime was not how they wanted to spend their life together. As much as they both loved Serenity it was time to settle down, and their friends agreed with them. They were all tired of the nomadic lifestyle and wanted to retire to a more normal life while they were all still healthy enough to enjoy it. They’d nearly lost Jayne shortly before the decision came about. He was shot in a raid they made on an Alliance hospital, suffering nerve damage in his right arm. He retained most of the use of that arm, but it permanently put an end to his mercenary career. Jayne was surprisingly uncomplaining of this turn of his life and was the first to suggest putting down roots. He’d been tentative about it, prepared to go it alone if he had to. The rest of them could not fathom splitting up. They wanted to stay together as the family they had become, dysfunctional though they were, and, as a family, they had made the decision to find a planet where they could all settle down and make a home. 

They had a run of several well paying jobs – some legit, some not so much. During a raid on a second Alliance hospital they had stolen enough drugs and medical supplies to pay their way to a quiet planet far out on the Rim where they could buy property at homesteaders’ prices. Zoe and Wash settled in town where Wash used one of Serenity’s shuttles for a taxi service. It was basically a milk run and he enjoyed ferrying people to their destinations and home again. He said that he had gotten enough excitement as Serenity’s pilot; it was time to take it easy. Zoe loved having her man content and out of danger. She was trying her hand at keeping house and so far seemed to have taken to it readily, although her friends were betting on when she snapped and started a school for teaching self-defence or perhaps opened a shooting range. Book took over the ministry of a church in the town over the next hill where he also counselled youth. He was within riding distance for visiting, which they did regularly. Kaylee met a young man, one of the locals, and married him. Mal gave her away in the ceremony, so filled with pride, his throat so tight trying to hold back his emotions that he stumbled over his one spoken line. Kaylee had walked down the aisle in a beautiful white silk gown, altered from one of Inara’s. It made Kaylee look like a virginal bride – more or less, something Jayne found amusing to the point of nearly literally falling out of the pew. Kaylee had been noticeably pregnant with her first child at the time and really didn’t care what he thought of her. She had read of brides wearing white and that was what she wanted for her wedding. She humoured Simon who was constantly begging her to go easy with clambering on and over and under the town’s generators of which she was in charge of maintaining. They agreed she could continue as normal until she entered her third trimester. 

Inara had difficulty settling down on Haven, never quite accepting of Mal’s relationship with Simon. Though she had not said a word against them sadness flooded her eyes whenever she looked at them. She tried to be pleased for them, but just couldn’t take the final step toward approval and returned to the Companion’s Guild to train young men and women in the arts of her profession. Jayne’s choice was a big surprise to them all. He set himself up in a business designing, manufacturing, and selling hammocks that proved very popular with the locals, and became a thriving industry with buyers all over Haven. Jayne had more or less stumbled into something that had gone out of style more than two hundred years ago. It was a thing he liked and he made it a success. He had a staff of five, including an accountant he didn’t have to threaten not to embezzle from him. His business had just gone interplanetary as his product was now shipped out to Trella, a neighbouring planet. One of his larger models – perfect for lovemaking on a warm summer’s day – hung between two sturdy trees in Simon and Mal’s backyard.

The couple had bought a big parcel of ranch land in an area slightly removed from their friends. Mal designed and built the sprawling house that was surrounded by hills, which gave them privacy and security. While Simon set up what became a thriving medical practice in town with an eye to creating a real hospital, Mal oversaw the management of the ranch. They owned a hundred head of prime Hereford beef cattle. Mal made sure Simon’s name was next to his on the ranch deed and on the livestock papers, too. As a personal sideline he tracked down and bought a fine stallion and three mares to start his own line of Arabian horses. Arabians were still bred but had been allowed to dwindle in number. Mal had followed the breed as a long-time admirer and was aware they were on the verge of making a comeback. He figured he bought in at the right time – before they became popular again and their cost went up. The breed had survived thousands of years and he intended to see it continue to thrive. The delicate beauty of the animals had enraptured Simon. He had expressed his surprise that Mal would go for a breed that was obviously fancier than a working rancher’s cowpony. Mal did not tell his lover that when he looked at the horses he was reminded of him – strong, brave, spirited, and utterly gorgeous. He was uncertain how Simon would react to being compared to a horse. Maybe he could say the words some day and not botch the sentiment. 

River lived with them, having almost completely recovered from what the Alliance had done to her all those years before, thanks to Simon’s tireless quest to find the proper course of treatment for her. She still had days where her gaze lost focus and she spouted some nonsense, but those periods were getting further and further apart and less intense. She spent a lot of time with a young man who was the best friend of Kaylee’s husband, Daryl, and the fellow seemed just as intrigued with her. He was a smart man who, although he had no hope of being River’s intellectual match, made her happy. Simon was anticipating another wedding in the near future and couldn’t be more pleased. Mal had grown very fond of his “sister-in-law”, watching her mature and finding that he could talk to her as a peer now that she was better. She still could make him feel thick-headed at times, but usually only did it on purpose to tease him. Even though he sometimes wished he and Simon had a bit more privacy he was glad she lived with them and would genuinely miss her when she married and moved out. He was already thinking of offering River her choice of the new foals to be born in the next few months as a wedding gift. River had fallen head over heels at her first sight of the Arabians and was a superb rider. 

So here they were with their own home and a solid life, a good life. Things had been good on Serenity, too, and Mal never lost sight of why he bought her in the first place – to have a home no one could take away from him. There was an unease deep in his bones about settling down again as he remembered how his home on Shadow had been ripped out from under him and his mother. He would never forgive the Alliance for stealing that life, but he still had his ship and now he had Simon and the ranch. It was definitely time to try living in one place again and so far he loved every minute of it. 

Mal tightened his arms and settled his face against Simon’s hair, his favourite way to hold his lover in these quiet moments. He gazed out at the lush grass surrounding the house and further out in the nearest pasture where the horses grazed. The sun was beginning to sink into the hills behind the house and cast a rosy glow over everything. Even though he loved the land, he loved the man in his arms more than anything. He would even go back to space if it meant keeping Simon with him. He was aware that he seldom spoke of such things with him. Expressing his feelings was still not something he did well or often. He needed to work on that and on remembering their anniversary. In the meantime, Simon did enough expressing for both of them.

“Mal? Did you think we’d last this long?” Simon repeated, drawing him out of his musings.

“I didn’t expect us to last three months,” Mal answered, “to tell you the truth.”

“No?” Simon had heard this before but apparently wanted to hear it again. 

“Nope. A sweet young thing like you hanging out with an old fella like me.”

“You’re barely eight years older than I am,” Simon chided gently. He leaned back and let Mal support more of his weight.

“Still,” Mal said.

“Still, nothing. You’re not even forty yet. You’re still a young man and you’re mine and I’m yours. We’re together and we’re going to stay together.”

Amused, Mal asked, “Don’t I get a say in this?”

“Yes. You get to agree with me and do what I tell you.”

“Bossy.”

“Look who’s talking,” Simon scoffed. “You’ve bossed the rest of us around for years. In this I’m the boss of you.”

“Okay.” Mal said agreeably and kissed the back of Simon’s neck. Then he slid his hands lower over Simon’s stomach and down to his thighs. 

“Not now, my love. We’ve got company coming for dinner.”

“We do?” Mal sniffed the air, hoping for a whiff of whatever was cooking. If any preparations had been underway he’d missed them since he had spent the day outside.

Simon turned around in Mal’s arms and gave him a mock glare. “Don’t tell me you forgot again?”

“Your birthday?” Mal asked hopefully.

“No-o.”

“My birthday?”

“It’s our anniversary. Dummy.”

“Uh oh. Um, which one again?”

“Mal!”

“I’m teasin’. I know we’ve been together five years; the date sneaked up on me is all. Again.”

“You’re forgiven.” Simon rose up on his toes and kissed him lightly. “I long ago gave up expecting you to remember. It is kind of silly for me to put so much emphasis on the event.”

“Hey!” Mal’s fingers closed tightly on Simon’s arms, and pulled him up against his chest. “Don’t ever think that us celebrating the day we became a couple is not important. I understand why you make a fuss every year. I’m glad you do and I enjoy it as much as you do. I just can’t seem to remember the day *on* the date and I am truly sorry for that.”

“It’s all right, Mal. You’ve done so much to make us a home. I look at it as you celebrating our union every day.”

“Then we’re in agreement on that.” Mal kissed him firmly on the mouth before releasing him and letting him stand more solidly on his own two feet again.

“There is one thing, though,” Simon said. 

“What’s that?”

“I just wish you weren’t so damned tall. My neck gets sore from gazing adoringly up at you.”

“Brat,” Mal growled and smacked him on the butt. “Who’s comin’ for dinner?”

“Everyone.”

#

Simon hadn’t been joking. He had invited everyone they knew on Haven, all of whom they counted as friends. The Serenity family except for Inara, their new friends from the area, and even the hired help who had quickly gotten engulfed by the camaraderie, were present. The kitchen was big enough for most of them but Simon had asked Rala, their housekeeper, to set the long dining room table. The dishes weren’t fancy, as neither Simon nor Mal saw a point to spending good money on pretty china that cost a fortune just so they could eat off it. None of their fixtures was expensive either, just good, sturdy furniture. Forgoing the frivolous things, they invested their cash in the ranch and intended to plough the profits back into it and into Simon’s clinic. Their one extravagance was their bed – a large four-poster. So the tableware service mostly matched and was serviceable and that was all that mattered. Rala had apparently decided that a special touch of some sort was needed and had placed a centrepiece of flowers from the garden on the table. 

Zoe and Wash arrived first. Zoe seemed vaguely uptight but they put it down to the strain of having little to do with her days. Mal wondered if it was affecting her marriage, but when Wash reached for her hand she let him take it and turned to give him a quick kiss that seemed as full of love as it had ever been. Then again, Zoe had been vaguely uptight since the day he met her. 

River had gone out earlier and returned with her boyfriend, Allin. She also brought with her Kaylee and Daryl, and their daughter, Nara. Book arrived solo but that never seemed to bother him. Their newest friends Sasla and Rinnal, whom Simon had met at the clinic, arrived together. The two women held hands nearly constantly. Mal wondered how they were going to manage to eat dinner. He thought about how he and Simon had been when they first fell in love; only they had not gone public until they were together several months. They never did the handholding at the dinner table, at any rate, leastways not when anyone could see them. It seemed that the guests were pouring into the house. These were people who had welcomed them into their community right from the start, and provided them with food and other necessities when they were still living on Serenity. 

Mal was grateful to Simon for thinking of inviting all of these people to help them celebrate their anniversary. If it had been left up to him they might have had a party a few weeks after the fact, and there was no telling if he would have thought of inviting everyone that needed inviting. He was hopeless. Simon sent him an affectionate glance telling him that very thing. Simon knew him so well. 

Jayne brought a friend with him. When he introduced Kieral to Mal and Simon, he kept his hand possessively on the man’s lower back. Kieral looked to be in his mid forties, a few years older than Jayne, with a head of wavy greying hair and a pleasant smile that invariably increased in wattage when he looked at Jayne. He looked at Jayne a lot. He didn’t talk much but proved himself to be capable of holding his own in conversation when drawn into it. 

“I think Jayne’s new friend is a little shy,” Simon whispered to Mal when they both were in the kitchen a little later.

“A little shy on brains if he’s taken up with Jayne,” Mal shot back, earning a fierce glare from Simon who was protective of all of their friends. Truth to tell, he only said things like that about Jayne out of habit. He and the ex-mercenary had become firm friends over the years, and the night Jayne got the contract to take his hammocks to Trella the two of them had celebrated Jayne’s good fortune in business by going out and drinking until dawn. That was before Kieral entered the picture. “I wondered why Jayne hasn’t been around much lately.”

“It’s good for him to have someone in his life besides you.”

“Jealous?”

Simon clucked his tongue in exasperation. “No, of course not. I just meant that he needs someone to love and someone who loves him. I’ve worried that he never even seemed to try before this.”

Mal shifted his feet awkwardly and stared at the floor. “Yeah. Well, I think maybe I know why that was so.”

“Do tell.” Simon was looking at him suspiciously. 

“Guess I shoulda told you this before now, but... Anyway, long before you and River first came on board Serenity, Jayne and I, we, uh, used to, you know, on a fairly regular basis.”

Simon sifted through the meagre information and came up with, “You and Jayne were lovers?”

“Now, “lovers” is a strong word. I’d say we shared our bodies. It was purely for pleasure with no stronger emotions attached. At least not on my part.”

Simon shut his mouth with an audible snap while he continued to stare at Mal. Then he shook his head and his hands went up and he asked, “Are you saying that you and Jayne were...lovers?”

Annoyed, Mal said, “No. I’m saying we fucked each other. We used each other to fulfill basic needs. Then you came along, and even before you and I got together I put a stop to it with him because I was already falling for you.” He had spoken rapidly and loudly and found that he was angry because Simon did not seem to get what he was saying.

While they glared at each other the kitchen door swung open then. Jayne stood hesitantly in the doorway. “Can I come in?” When neither of them said anything he entered anyway. “I heard ya out there. We all did. Doc, I just wanted to say that whatever you’re thinkin’ about Mal and me -- you’re wrong. He stopped boffin’ me once he figured out that he was in love with you. Ain’t my fault he took so long to tell you how he feels about you. Anyway, I got me a fella of my own now and I plan to keep him if he’ll have me. So, just take whatever wrong notions you got boilin’ up inside ya and forget about ‘em. Mal is my friend, no more’n that.” He nodded at both of them and stomped out of the kitchen. 

Simon had the grace to look sheepish but Mal, even though overcome with the sudden need to sweep him into his arms and kiss him stupid, waited to hear what he had to say. 

“I owe you an apology.” Simon bravely met his eyes. “I over-reacted and I’m so very sorry.”

Letting one corner of his mouth quirk up, Mal said, “You’re forgiven if I am, too, for not telling you sooner about Jayne.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I think maybe he had feelings for me. He never said anything but I always suspected. I tried to talk to him about it once but he shrugged it off. It was always there between us, though. I was tryin’ to respect his feelings and figured it was his business and no one else’s.”

“So that’s why you two were slow to become true friends?”

“I think so. He tried at first but I skittered away and then I tried but he held back. Took moving here to Haven where Jayne could start his business and find his own way to set us straight. Could be that Kieral helped settle him, too.”

“I’m sure he did.” Simon walked over and wound his arms around Mal’s waist. He leaned on him and looked up. “Promise me you will always tell me what’s going on in that thick skull of yours? If something is bothering you will you talk to me about it?”

“It sometimes takes me awhile to figure it out myself.”

“That’s what I mean! Talk to me. Let me help you figure it out.”

“I’ll try.”

Mal could tell that wasn’t exactly what Simon wanted to hear but his lover managed a smile and angled his face closer for a kiss. They deepened it and were quickly lost in each other. Then the door opened again and Zoe walked in. When she had their attention simply by staying quiet and staring pointedly she said, “Save it for later, boys. You’ve got a houseful of guests to entertain.”

After she walked out, Simon grinned broadly. “All the times on Serenity you threatened to hose down her and Wash...”

“We better get out there.” Mal linked his fingers with Simon’s and when they exited the kitchen a round of applause and some cheering greeted them. Simon’s eyes sparkled and Mal felt himself puffing up a little as they accepted the congratulations from their friends.

“When are you going to make an honest man out of Simon, Captain?” Book asked looking pious and playful at the same time. “You know I’m available to perform weddings.” He had officiated at Kaylee’s ceremony and had made no secret he was itching to reside over another of his friends’ special days.

Mal and Simon traded looks. They both agreed that they had no need for a piece of paper to confirm their love for each other. Humouring Book, Simon told him, “If we do decide to get married you’ll be among the first to know.”

Book smiled good-naturedly. It didn’t seem to bother him quite as much anymore that his friends sometimes did sinful things. Mal personally thought that Book wasn’t the true blue Preacher he let everyone think he was, but had never been able to wring out of him even a hint of his real past. 

“Besides,” Mal added, “Simon needs to make an honest man outta me what with me dragging him into a life of crime and such.”

That remark was met with laughter and Simon mouthed the word, “Prick,” at him. Then he said, “Please, everyone sit down and eat ‘til you burst.” 

More laughter greeted his invitation and they all settled down at the long table, with Mal at one end and Simon at the other. That way they could pay attention to all of their guests. They both knew that they would only have eyes for each other if they sat at the same end of the table. Mal found Kaylee at his side and reached over to give her a hug. She beamed at him. She was in her seventh month of her second pregnancy and her appetite was healthy to say the least. He watched her put away quantities of food that made his stomach ache, all the while keeping their end of the table lively with comments and questions about this one’s family and that one’s livestock and so and so’s job. Kaylee was a social creature; she always had been and impending motherhood brought out qualities in her that left Mal overwhelmed with pleasure. She was blossoming before his very eyes from a perky young girl to a mature, confident woman. Conversation at the table ranged from the price of beef to Jayne’s hammocks and how he was looking for ways to expand his business to news from offworld. 

Paual, the town’s magistrate, reached for his second helping of the roast goose and said, “I heard that there’s a group starting up near the Core calling themselves the New Independents.” He missed seeing the looks the old Serenity crew traded before all of them glanced at Mal. He studiously maintained a neutral expression despite his increased heart rate. Paual continued, “Seems someone is finally going to try to topple the Alliance. About time, I say.”

Several others echoed his sentiments but Mal kept silent, his appetite suddenly gone. He felt Simon watching him and looked up to meet his eyes. He managed a small smile for his partner but it faltered. Zoe surreptitiously cleared her throat. Mal ignored her and asked Paual, “What else have you heard about this?”

“They’re planning a second Rebellion, I hear. So far it’s mostly just rumours. Haven’t had time to check the Cortex to find out if it’s true or not.” A couple of others mentioned that they had heard the same news from their suppliers. Simon’s eyes grew wider by the minute and he darted quick glances around the table as he assimilated the news. Then he fixed his increasingly concerned gaze on Mal. Their eyes locked and a wordless communication flashed between them. Mal got the message: This conversation was for later. 

Mal changed the subject then and started teasing River and Allin about whether they were going to get married. When was she going to move out of the house so he and her brother could make out when and where they felt like it without her showing up at inappropriate times? Simon pretended to be outraged and did blush furiously. River complained loudly that it wasn’t any fun for her, either, to find them with their pants down on the back porch before breakfast. Mal tried for a smug grin, but he felt his neck and face grow hot as he figured out that she had seen them the other day in just such a compromising position. He hadn’t known she was there and hoped she hadn’t seen too much. Their guests found the entire exchange to be wildly amusing and many whoops and catcalls followed. 

#

It was very late, or very early in the morning, when Mal sent the staff to their own homes, telling them to finish the cleanup in the morning. Then he tiredly hauled himself upstairs to wash up in the bathroom before entering the bedroom. He took his time, knowing that he and Simon were going to argue before either of them slept. Simon lay on top of the covers with a medical text in his hands. He glanced up when Mal entered the room but did not speak. Mal knew that meant that his lover was not happy with him. Like Mal he wore only a pair of drawstring pyjama bottoms. Mal looked at him lying there on their king sized bed propped up against the pillows and wanted nothing more than to skip the argument and get straight to the sex. Trouble was, Simon wouldn’t let him do that and chances were they were going to sleep apart tonight with no sex to bridge the trouble that was brewing between them. 

He sighed. “Let’s get it over with before it festers.”

Simon tossed his book onto the mattress beside him. “All right. Let’s start with why you didn’t tell me that you had already heard about the new rebellion starting up.” He folded his arms across his bare chest. Not a good sign.

“What makes you think I heard before tonight?” As soon as he asked he knew it was a mistake.

“Come on, Mal! Do you think I don’t know you by now? It was all over your face as soon as Paual told us.”

“Yeah.” Mal sat on his side of the bed facing Simon. “I heard yesterday. I was on the Cortex looking at cattle prices and it came through in a wave. I woulda heard sooner or later anyway. Obviously.”

“Then let’s get to the crux of the matter. Are you thinking of running off and joining this group of freedom fighters?”

“Simon, I’d be crazy to do that. Wouldn’t I?” Mal left himself wide open to let Simon see that he did not want to leave what they had built on Haven. A little jolt disturbed the rhythm of his heart when he saw it in Simon’s eyes that he thought Mal *was* crazy enough to do just that. He just sat there staring, saddened at this revelation, while Simon set his book on the bedside table and then shut off the lamp. 

Simon flipped the covers back so he could climb in under them and then patted the bed. “Get in. We both have a heavy day tomorrow and need our sleep.”

Feeling like a chastened little boy, Mal did as he was told. He crawled into bed but made no move to touch Simon, who hesitated before rolling up next to him and putting his arm over Mal’s stomach. Mal lay there woodenly, sick at heart with the overwhelming feeling that their relationship had just changed and not in a good way. After a minute he began stroking Simon’s arm purely because he needed to touch him. Simon apparently misunderstood and moved away, lying with his back to Mal.

#

Six years – 

Simon had to remind him again; only it wasn’t funny this time. A cooling off period in the past year had shadowed their relationship. Their lovemaking, though not as frequent, was still intense but not as playful as it had been. They were drifting apart but neither of them was willing to acknowledge it aloud. 

The celebration was quiet with only River and Allin, Zoe and Wash, and Jayne and Kieral coming by for dinner. Kaylee and Book both begged off. Mal couldn’t get either of them to talk to him much lately. He suspected they were siding with Simon. The thing that galled him was that he hadn’t done anything except think of *maybe* joining up if the war came closer. He had not made a decision. However, his restlessness was becoming noticeable even to him. He had a difficult time concentrating on business matters. He achieved little joy in keeping his ranch running smoothly. 

Their guests left early when it became plain that the one thing everyone wanted to talk about was the one thing about which they couldn’t speak. Zoe and Wash were the last to leave. 

As she was going out the door, Zoe pulled Mal aside and said in a low voice, “Don’t do it, sir.”

“Don’t do what, Zoe?”

“Don’t join the rebellion. Don’t fight again. And don’t leave Simon. I won’t go with you this time. Wash and I have a good life here. Neither of us will jeopardize it. You shouldn’t either. You’ve got it real good here. Simon loves you so much and I know you love him.”

It was perhaps the longest speech he had ever heard from her. He knew every word of it was true. 

“Haven’t you ever had something burrow so deeply into your soul that to ignore it is like cutting off your own arm?” He was speaking of the control the Alliance had over what mattered and his anger over that control.

“Yeah. Wash.”

Mal simply stared at her. 

“Good night, sir.” She went out. 

Wash looked at him and then moved closer very quickly. He pointed a finger at Mal, grimaced with anger and lowered it. In a clipped voice he said, “Not only are you making Simon unhappy, you are making my wife unhappy and I won’t let you do that.” Then he walked out the door, barely managing not to slam it behind him.

When Mal turned around Simon was standing there. “We have the best friends,” was all he said. 

Then he turned and walked to the staircase and went up to their bedroom. Mal remained downstairs for another couple of hours. When he went up Simon was asleep, curled in a ball on the far side of the bed. Mal got in without waking him and stared at the ceiling for a while. 

#

Word came over the Cortex a day before it arrived via the supply ships in the town’s spaceport. The war had reached the Rim worlds. Men and women – some barely past childhood, some much older - were signing up and leaving their homes to fight for something that should have ended over a dozen years ago. 

#

Mal worked his ranch. He kept his accounts up to date, made sure his stock was at the top of their form, and trained his foreman on how to keep things running at their best. 

#

“I’m going.” 

Simon looked up from his textbook. He was always careful to study any new techniques in medicine, to learn of any new advances. The library, where they were now, had one entire wall of medical books he had acquired over time. Some of the books were from the hospital raid that got them to Haven. 

“I’m going to take Serenity to Botany Bay. Takin’ some of the folks from town with me – Sasla and Rinnal, Nash, Dell, and others. We’ll be joining up with the Independents.” 

Now Simon stared at Mal with undisguised dismay. 

“No, Mal.” He stood up and went to him, gripping Mal’s shirt. “Please... I’m begging you.”

Mal pulled Simon to him, embracing him as if never to let him go even though he knew that to be untrue. 

“Shh. I have to go, babe. You know how the last war ended never set well with me. The Alliance must be stopped. I have to do this.”

Simon lifted his hand so that his long fingers rested against Mal’s face, quivering on his skin. 

“No,” he whispered. “I have a terrible feeling about this. If we’re parted... We haven’t been apart more than a few days since we met! Please don’t go.” 

Mal wrapped his arms more tightly around Simon. He had a bad feeling, too, but did not say so. Forces stronger than himself drove him, forces he could not ignore. He rocked Simon while the front of his shirt grew damp from his lover’s tears, silent, wrenching sobs wracking Simon’s body. Mal was just as miserable but he had no tears in him. The dark, frozen part that the Alliance had created was growing rapidly. His love for Simon was the only good part left in him.

#

They made love through the night, trying to stave off the desperate sorrow that drove them. Simon arched sweetly under him; rising to meet him each time with a force that let Mal know his man would survive without him. Simon was strong but that had never been in question. Simon would survive.

Mal left him just before dawn. Simon slept finally, a frown marring his striking features. Seeing him smile would have meant the world but Mal knew even if he woke him up there would be no smiles, no joy. 

# 

Over the next five months Mal kept the memory of his last night with Simon close to his heart. There were days and weeks when it was all he had to get him through to the next day. 

The casualties on Siedon were high on both sides. Just like years ago on Hera it all came down to a final, telling battle. Just like before, when the other commanding officers went down, Malcolm Reynolds, finally a Captain in rank, was left to guide the remaining soldiers. Mal’s focus had become legendary. He heard the talk in the bunkers; the younger men and women thought he was some kind of machine – conniving, ruthless and bloody-minded. All of those traits were exactly what was needed to pull them out of this mess and they followed him unwaveringly. Mal found it strange to be there without Zoe by his side. He missed her terribly but found that his current second in command was just as loyal and nearly as competent. No one was as good as Zoe but Sam was the next best thing. 

Mal ordered his ragtag unit to hold the nearest hill. If they could last until morning they might live to see the end of the war. He’d been in the trenches for five long months, surviving near starvation, the freezing rain that poured down on them like tiny knives, the sucking mud, and the downward spiralling morale. He was exhausted and he missed his home and his friends. He missed Simon. He wanted to see him again, to be with him. He wanted to die of old age in bed, making love to Simon early in the morning with the sun streaming through their bedroom window. Instead, he was far from home in a trench, ankle deep in freezing water, alone in a crowd of strangers, and sick of fighting. 

The telltale roar of spaceships entering atmo was a buzz in his ears before he realized what he was hearing. By now he was firing like an automaton, his breathing, his reflexes, all of his being centered on shooting every Alliance soldier as they came over the ridge landing almost on top of his unit. 

“Sir! Captain Reynolds!” Sam was screaming at him, pounding on his arm. Mal finally came to himself long enough to register his 2IC’s hysteria. Mal followed his gaze upwards.

Alliance ships filled the night sky. Just like before. Just like in Serenity Valley. 

This time he only had faith in himself so he had no faith to lose.

“No,” he whispered, his attention shattered long enough for him to drop his guard. He did not see the mortar that took out most of his unit, but he felt the shrapnel that tore through his chest. All he knew was that they had been winning and now all was lost. 

He succumbed to the searing pain of his wounds and fell only after darkness claimed him.

[Part Two](http://archiveofourown.org/works/395275)


End file.
